


Show Yourself

by Mycatshuman



Series: Go Into The Unknown and Show Yourself (Virgil-centric) [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:07:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22259221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mycatshuman/pseuds/Mycatshuman
Summary: Virgil may be accepted by the light sides, but has he truly accepted himself?
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: Go Into The Unknown and Show Yourself (Virgil-centric) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1587439
Comments: 3
Kudos: 58





	Show Yourself

Virgil sat on his bed, his mind reeling from the events of the past week. Between him ducking out, the others coming to his room, being accepted, having to rescue them, and telling them his name, he was mentally exhausted. But he was feeling better. And he realized that him ducking out would not work for Thomas. And no matter what anyone may say, he cared for his host and his well being. And if him ducking out caused Thomas to be careless than he couldn't do that. 

Despite the other main sides finally accepting him, he was still uneasy. People couldn't accept people on a dime, and he knew that. He wasn't stupid. But they were working on it and that's all he could ask really. He wasn't entirely innocent either. He did snark back and put up a tough wall. And he was going to work on not being so mean. 

The voice still bothered him. Especially when he ducked out. It was so loud and hurt his ears so much that even if the other main sides didn't come for him, Jake and Remus would have forced him to go back for the sake of his eardrums. It had since lessened. Which Virgil was eternally grateful for, although, it still called out to him. But soon, that would change. 

\-------

They had just finished filming the Accepting Anxiety videos. Logan and Roman had suggested that accepting anxiety was an important topic to cover in Thomas's scripted series  _ Sanders Sides.  _ Virgil kind of liked the series. Sure it did nearly mirror some real-life occurrences but he was comfortable knowing the series would mostly follow a different storyline from their actual lines.

So Virgil was happy. He had been accepted and the other sides allowed Jake and Remus to visit him sometimes. They even invited them to join in on family nights. So all in all, Virgil was pretty happy with how his life was going. Until he woke up that morning. He looked in the mirror, did a double-take, and then screamed. 

The door to his room burst open and a tired-looking Roman tumbled in with his sword shouting, "Where's the danger?" 

Virgil startled. He took a few minutes to compose himself before he yelled, "LOOK AT MY FUCKING HAIR!!" 

Roman paused and blinked as he took in the anxious sides' hair. His face blushed a deep red as he went through a serious case of gay panic. Virgil, meanwhile, was in a similar boat as he took in Roman's newly purpled bedhead.  _ Oh fuck, he's hot!  _

"Oh-uh.." Roman struggled to pull a sentence together. "Thomas..I think he got his hair dyed.." 

Virgil blinked. Once. Twice. And then he groaned and hit his head against his dresser. Roman yelped and dropped his sword before rushing forward to stop the emo side from hurting himself. 

"What are you doing?!?" He screeched. 

Virgil mumbled incoherently into the wood as he let his headrest. "I'm trying to knock myself out so I don't risk negative judgment." 

Roman frowned. "Virgil, surely you know we wouldn't judge you." Virgil shrugged. Roman bit his lip before pulling Virgil upright. "Come on, let me look." Virgil stood up reluctantly. Roman had to refrain from sighing dreamily. The plum-colored locks fell over Virgil's eyes and stood out beautifully against his skin. "Virgil...you..you look beautiful." Virgil flushed bright red as Roman took a couple of seconds to realize what he just said. His eyes blew wide as he tried to cover up his feelings. "I mean, your hair, your hair! Looks very nice! And beautiful. I mean you both look beautiful! I um, it's really nice?" 

Virgil giggled lightly as he hid his smile behind his hand and Roman fell deeper in love. "Okay, I think I got it." He grabbed his clothes out of his dresser moving to the bathroom to take a shower before stopping and looking back at Roman. "Ro?"

Roman paused in picking up his sword. "Yes, Virgil?" 

"Your hair looks nice too," Virgil told him shyly before turning and going into the bathroom. 

Roman nearly squealed. His crush had told him he looked good! He danced around a little before freezing. "Wait…." His eyes blew wide and he raced into his room only to let out a wail at the purple mop atop his head. 

\-----

The sides all sat in the family room. Roman had wanted to discuss something he had been thinking of that he wanted them all to try out. "Okay, so I've been thinking, maybe our wardrobes need an upgrade!" 

Virgil, Logan, and Jake shared a blank face as Remus and Patton let out equal shouts of excitement. "Why do we need an upgrade in our wardrobes?" Jake asked. 

"Why to freshen up our looks! You two will probably be a part of videos soon and we need to make sure our outfits all live up to this new season we are going into!" 

Logan frowned. "If it would improve views than I suppose I can agree. But what are the requirements of these upgrades?" 

"More pigment! And a symbol or crest that will represent us as a side!" 

Virgil bit his lip. "And we have to make our own updates and stuff?" He asked anxiously. 

"Yeah!" Roman nodded enthusiastically. "That way it is something you'd actually wear and something that you can be comfortable in." 

Virgil frowned. "I think you're forgetting something, Princey." 

Roman frowned. "What's that?" 

"Not all of us can create cool stuff." 

"Kiddo," Patton began. "You don't have to participate if you don't want to but I really think you can do it. It doesn't have to be a big change and you can take inspiration from anywhere. Just give it a try, who knows what you'll come up with." 

Virgil frowned and opened his mouth to argue only for his brother to interrupt. "Virgil, just give it a shot, okay? I think it would be nice to put some color into your wardrobe. It might help you have something to focus on instead of the same black and greys all the time." 

Virgil sighed and grumbled. "Fine...I'll try. But I can't promise anything." 

\-------

Virgil stood in his room, different fabrics are strewn about everywhere and ran a hand through his hair. Nothing was working. He couldn't get anything to work. He tried adding different colors of red. And while they looked nice, they didn't feel... _ right _ . Virgil was getting tired and he was on his way to a mental break down if he didn't find the right thing soon. He had been working nonstop for days and he couldn't help but give up hope. 

He grabbed a handful of fabric and yeeted it across the room at full force. In the blue light, the red fabric glowed a brief purple as it fell and Virgil froze.  _ "Every inch of me is trembling,"  _ he sang softly as he slowly moved over to the pile of fabric.  _ "But not from the cold."  _ He kneeled down and carefully picked up the red fabric and held it against the blue light.  _ "Something is familiar."  _ He whispered. The fabric turned a slight purple color as he inspected it. The light giving it a different shade.  _ "Like a dream I can reach but not quite hold. I can sense you there."  _ Virgil turned around and glanced around his room at the discarded piles of fabric laying all over the place from his previous failed attempts at updating his normal outfit.  _ Like a friend I've always known."  _ He glanced at his hoodie and ideas began to spark.  _ "I'm arriving. And it feels like I am home."  _

Virgil conjured a plain black zip-up hoodie.  _ "I have always been a fortress, cold secrets deep inside."  _ He carefully laid out the jacket on his bed.  _ "You have secrets, too. But you don't have to hide."  _

Virgil conjured a small square of purple fabric and laid it on the jacket to test it.  _ "Show Yourself. I'm dying to meet you."  _ He frowned. The purple was nice but it was missing something.  _ "Show Yourself, it's your turn,"  _ he sang softly as he glanced around his room. His eyes landed on his Sally and Jack posters.  _ "Are you the one I've been looking for all of my life?"  _ His eyes sparkled as he turned back to the square of plum fabric and focused on conjuring some white string.  _ "Show Yourself, I'm ready to learn. Ah-ah, ah-ah." _

_ Ah-ah, ah-ah-ah.  _

Virgil's head snapped up as he heard the siren voice again. The loudest it had been in a while. A bright smile spread across his face and he turned back to his project.  _ "I have never felt so certain."  _ Virgil conjured more of the purple fabric.  _ "All my life I've been torn."  _ He moved around his room as he sang and grabbed needles and thread and a pair of scissors.  _ "But I'm here for a reason. Could it be the reason I was born?"  _ Virgil yanked a sketchbook out from his dresser drawer and a few pencils as he began sketching out the design shimmering vividly in his mind.  _ "I have always been so different. Normal rules did not apply."  _ Soon Virgil had a fairly well-composed design laid out, his eyes sparkled with joy.  _ "Is this the day? Are you the way? I finally find out why?"  _

Virgil picked up the scissors and began cutting out the shapes out of the fabric.  _ "Show Yourself! I'm no longer trembling."  _ As he worked his shadow magic helped hold things for him and kept them from getting lost and protected him from picking his finger on the needle.  _ "Here I am. I've come so far!"  _ All of the fabric was sewn onto the jacket and Virgil set out sewing the white string around the patches somewhat hazardously, really pulling the idea of "stitches together."  _ "You are the answer I've waited for all of my life! Oh, show yourself!"  _ Virgil pulled the hoodie on and frowned slightly.  _ "Let me see who you are."  _

Virgil moved over to his mirror.  _ "Come to me now,"  _ he called as he inspected his hoodie in the mirror.  _ "Open your door. Don't make me wait."  _ The shadows watched him as he frowned at his reflection.  _ "One moment more. Oh, come to me now. Open your door. Don't make me wait one moment more."  _

Then, as if out of thin air, small patch materialized in front of Virgil, free floating.  _ Where the north wind meets the sea. _ A voice said, sounding suspiciously like a mixture of Logan's, Thomas's, Patton's, Remus's, Jake's and Roman's sang. 

_ (Ah-ah, ah-ah)  _ The voice that have been calling him since the beginning called out. 

_ There's a river _

_ (Ah-ah, ah-ah) _

_ Full of memory _

_ (Memory, memory) _

The other voices faded away as the voice sounding mostly like Roman's sang out.  _ Come, my darling, homeward bound. _

Virgil felt like crying as he reached forward and gently took the patch out of the air and holding it to his chest.  _ "I am found!!!"  _

_ "Show Yourself!"  _ Virgil belted out as the shadows rushed forward and zipped around him.  _ "Step into the power."  _ The shadows melded to the purple patches all over Virgil's jacket, creating a plaid pattern.  _ "Grow yourself! Into something new!"  _ Virgil looked into the mirror with wide eyes as finally, the jacket began to come completely together. 

The voices of Virgil's family all called out once again.  _ You are the one you've been waiting for- _

_ "All of my life!"  _

_ (All of your life.) _

_ "Oh, show yourself!"  _

The voices all melded together as the patch attached itself to Virgil's jacket.  _ "Ah-ah, ah-ah _ .  _ Ah-ah, ah-ah. Ah-ah, ah-ah"  _ The shadows woven together around Virgil as they spun in a tornado-like wind.  _ "Ah-ah, ah-ah. Ah-ah, ah-ah. Ah-ah, ah-ah." _ The shadows burst away and Virgil was left standing in front of his mirror. 

\--------

Virgil was slightly nervous. No one had seen each other’s outfits yet. Roman claiming it would be better to catch the genuine reactions of each of them to the others’ new looks. Of course that meant Jake and Remus's looks wouldn't be revealed until later. Knowing those two they probably hadn't even started yet and were using the extra time to slowly plan things out. Today they were filming the Hogwarts houses video and at the end before they ducked out they would change into their new and improved attire. Virgil just hoped everyone liked his. While it felt right, and perfect, he couldn't help but be nervous. 

"'Say, Thomas, these emblems and your hair are giving me an idea!'" Roman exclaimed excitedly. 

"Roman, make it work!'" Thomas answered, excited to finally see the new designs.

“I say we go for a bit of a change too!'" Roman took off the Gryffindor robe he was wearing, an excited grin on his face. 

"Oo! How?'" Patton asked as he fought to take off the Hufflepuff robe, his arms getting stuck in the sleeves and disturbing the blinds behind him. 

"If you say mind place again, we haven't even been back to the one you created-" Logan started ranting but was cut off when Roman turned around with a flourish. "'Oh, nice.'" 

Roman wore a white jacket with gold embellishes laying across his chest, on his shoulders, and wrapped around his tall collar. Along with that, he wore a red sash that laid diagonally over his torso. With some gold wrapping around the cuffs and a new emblem on the top of his arms, he looked more like a Disney prince than ever. "'Oh! New emblem thingy!'" Patton exclaimed excitedly. 

"'Aww. Prince 2. Oh My Goodness.'"

"'Your shoulders were so boring to look at before!'" 

Virgil's eyes widened as he leaned back and looked Roman up and down. There was no denying Princey looked  _ good.  _ Like really good. Virgil thanked all that is emo that his blush was hidden beneath his pale foundation.

"'Yeah it's just a bit of a change but I thought it would be nice,'" Roman explained as he smiled joyfully. He almost couldn't contain his squeal at noticing Virgil's reaction. 

"'Well, I suppose I could also participate, but I'm not going to go as ornate or elaborate. I would just look silly,'" Logan explained as he prepared to change. 

"'I set the bar too high for you, that's okay.'"

Logan turned around as he fixed his new tie. This one held more blue hues going down at an angle. His polo shirt was now a shade darker and featured a cartoon brain with glasses on the breast. He cleared his throat. "'There. Nice simple logo change, clear and to the point.'" 

"'Hey Logan!'" Patton exclaimed happily. He excitedly pointed to his new baby blue polo shirt where a cartoon heart with glasses identical to the ones on Logan's logo sat on his chest. Even the cardigan seemed to have changed to a darker, warmer grey. "Matching logos!" 

Logan nearly shut down from an overload of Gay but he was able to contain it and keep up with the character he portrayed onscreen. "'That's..very nice Patton.'" 

"'Mine is a heart with glasses.'" 

"'Stealing my logo, no big deal.'" 

"'What's going on with your cardigan?'" Roman asked as he eyed the fabric tied around the moral sides shoulders. 

"'Is that your cat onesie?'" Logan asked. 

"'Maybe…'" Patton answered as he pulled the hood up with a smile. 

"Ugh," Logan sighed. "That will not suffice.'"

Patton groaned, but was silently happy he was able to almost get Logan to break character. "'Ughhhh. You never let me do anything fun.'"

"'You'll figure it out buddy. Maybe something different for next time,'" Roman added. 

"'Virgil! Your turn!'" Patton exclaimed as he tied his old hoodie around his shoulders. 

"'Oh my gosh, do I have to?'" Virgil asked, following the script. They had set it up so up until each side revealed their new look they had scripted lines and while the reluctance was scripted, it was also slightly real. "'I mean like so many changes. I just told you my name.'" 

"No! No!'" Roman exclaimed, desperate to keep Virgil comfortable and not force him to do anything. “You don't have to. I just thought-'"

"'I-actually, ugh.'" Virgil started cutting Roman off. "I actually have this idea, but like, it's a little out there. So, um."

"Go ahead,'" Thomas started. "I mean if you don't like it you can always change back.'" 

Virgil let out a sigh. "'Well...alright, but, um. Before I do, I should probably confess that uh." Virgil switched his outfit to his new one, the purple plaid patched zip up hoodie with zippers on the sleeve and white stitching throughout. "I actually really dig the purple.'" 

"Woah!!!!" Patton exclaimed excitedly as he took in everything. 

"That design!" Logan commented in awe. 

Romans eyes widened as he took in the others outfit. From the hoodie to the ripped purple shirt to the ripped skinny jeans.  _ Holy fuck the Emo Nightmare just got hotter! _

"'Get on his level,'" Thomas commented, impressed with Virgil's new look. 

Patton started coughing. "You good, Patton?'" Roman asked worriedly. 

"I got overexcited,'" Patton explained. 

"'Well, I will say this much, that is..a jacket,'" Logan spoke up. 

"'That is..magnificent,'" Roman commented as Virgil hunched his shoulders a bit before letting the tension flow from his body and allowed himself to smile an adorable little half-smile. Roman's heart raced at the smile and he found it hard to not just leap forward and pull Virgil into a passionate kiss. "'How you've managed to become even angstier.'"

"Oh, okay," Virgil said, his smile gone before it could see a minute. 

"No!'" Roman exclaimed, quickly trying to fix the situation. "'If that's what you want to rock then you rock it sir! Who needs your own Hogwarts house when you have your own hog wild style.'" Roman paused, "'Ah, I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.'" 

"'Yeah..it is pretty hog wild,'" Virgil commented, slightly confused and amused. Roman may have been a little unprepared but Virgil official counted it as rendering the creative side speechless. And that was a win in his book. 

\--------

That night, when Virgil went to bed, it was the first time in a long time, he didn't have to fight against an ever-present siren voice. And if he and Roman happened to share a kiss in the few minutes before dinner, that was nobody's business but their own. And if they held hands under the table during dinner, then that was also their own little secret. 

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think?


End file.
